Basic Trauma Work in a Psychotherapy Setting
Author: Dr. Mathew Thomas, PhD How Do We Define Trauma in Psychological and Emotional Terms? Trauma is not always as visible as an accident or the impact of war; it is often more subtle, and deeply rooted in experiences that may be unspoken or even forgotten. For many, the origins of trauma lie in early childhood, shaping their emotional and psychological development. Unfinished emotional business from these formative years can run through generations, a phenomenon known as intergenerational trauma. For others, trauma becomes deeply implanted during the first stage of human development, where trust versus mistrust forms the foundation of an individual’s worldview. Invisible wounds such as a sense of abandonment suppressed emotions, and unmet needs can evolve into perceptions of rejection, anger, and low self-esteem. These feelings compound over time, creating a growing sense of abandonment in adulthood. Childhood often scripts and authors a person’s emotional and psychological profile, leaving a legacy of pain that is carried into significant relationships. For many, the roles of mother or father, whose relationships may have been sources of hurt, are replaced by a spouse, perpetuating unresolved dynamics. Trauma as a Psychological, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey Trauma work is a deeply psychological, emotional, and spiritual journey that many embark on as part of their healing process. It involves peeling back the layers of pain, self-perception, and unresolved experiences that shape one’s inner world. Over the years, I have embraced the mental health space to engage meaningfully in trauma work. Initially, I felt apprehensive about stepping into such a sensitive terrain, knowing the immense responsibility it carried. However, with time, experience, and growth, I now offer what I refer to as “the holding place.” This concept, inspired by Donald Winnicott’s pioneering work in object relations theory, underscores the significance of creating a nurturing and secure environment where individuals feel safe to explore their trauma. Winnicott’s notion of the “holding environment” emphasizes that feeling supported and understood is fundamental to confronting pain. This emotional scaffolding becomes the foundation for many individuals’ healing journeys, allowing them to face their deepest wounds without fear of judgment. The Long-Term Impact of Trauma Trauma leaves an indelible mark, often manifesting as self-blame, guilt, emotional paralysis, and a pervasive sense of inadequacy. These feelings infiltrate every aspect of life, influencing relationships, self-esteem, and even one’s capacity to pursue goals or dreams. I recall a young college student who reached out to me in the middle of the night, grappling with a deep sense of guilt. She questioned whether her parents’ divorce was the right decision. As I listened, she described the reality she faced nightly: mediating violent disputes between her parents from 8 PM to 3 AM. Her Herculean effort to maintain peace came at the cost of her emotional well-being. This student’s experience highlights intergenerational trauma, where unresolved pain and dysfunction ripple through families, leaving younger generations to bear the emotional weight. Trauma often extends beyond the individual, influencing family dynamics and shaping relationships for decades. Through therapy, she began to reclaim her sense of self, confronting the deep-seated guilt that had defined her role in her family. The Invisible Burden of Trauma As individuals and as a society, we must pause to reflect on the invisible wounds we carry. Trauma doesn’t vanish when ignored—it persists, shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. For many, these wounds remain hidden, surfacing only during moments of crisis or vulnerability. One of the most challenging aspects of trauma is the isolation it creates. Traumatized individuals often feel that their pain is uniquely theirs, perpetuating shame and self-blame. This isolation creates a vicious cycle, making it difficult for individuals to seek help or articulate their experiences. The harder we resist confronting these wounds, the more they persist, influencing our behaviors and perspectives in ways we may not fully understand. Recognizing and addressing these wounds is the first step toward breaking free from their grip. The Role of Safe Spaces in Healing Confronting trauma can feel overwhelming, but it is also profoundly transformative. No one should face this journey alone. A supportive environment, characterized by unconditional positive regard and non-judgmental care, is essential for healing. The “holding place” provides a sanctuary where individuals can explore their pain without fear of being judged or dismissed. It allows them to process their experiences at their own pace, guided by a therapist who offers empathy, understanding, and validation. For individuals who have experienced trauma within close relationships, trust may have been deeply fractured. In these cases, rebuilding trust often begins within the therapeutic relationship. The holding place becomes a refuge, offering the stability and support necessary for integration. Moving Beyond the Notion of Closure Healing from trauma is not about erasing the past or achieving a sense of “closure.” Life rarely provides tidy resolutions, and the concept of closure can be misleading. Trauma recovery is not a destination; it is a journey of growth and resilience. Recovery involves multiple stages: acknowledgment, processing, integration, and growth. Each stage requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions. For many, this journey is an opportunity for self-discovery, revealing inner strength and capacity for transformation. One critical aspect of trauma work is reframing the narrative survivors carry about their experiences. Often, individuals internalize a sense of responsibility for their pain, believing they should have acted differently. Therapy helps individuals distinguish between accountability and self-blame, empowering them to take ownership of their healing without carrying unnecessary guilt. Integration and Growth The ultimate goal of trauma work is integration—bringing together fragmented parts of oneself to create a sense of wholeness. Integration is not about forgetting the past; it is about learning to live with it in a way that enriches life rather than defining it. This process often involves redefining relationships, both with others and with oneself. Trauma can create barriers to intimacy and trust, but healing allows individuals to rebuild these connections in healthier and more fulfilling ways. Integration also fosters self-compassion, helping individuals move beyond shame and self-criticism. The Transformative Power of Trauma Work Trauma work is not
Transformative Power of Jungian Psychotherapy: Bridging Personal and Collective Unconscious
Dr. Mathew Thomas, PhD, Practitioner Psychologist and Accredited Psychotherapist In the realm of modern psychology, Carl Jung’s exploration of the human psyche, particularly the workings of the unconscious, stands out as a beacon of insight. Traditional therapy often centers on accessing the personal unconscious, the deeper aspect of our individuality. However, the true transformative force lies in the collective unconscious – a realm that encompasses our dreams, universal connections, and the unfamiliar, yet integral, parts of our identity. This collective unconscious carries our shared experiences, including our collective traumas and evolving history. It’s worth noting that many societies teach a restricted version of history, limiting progressive thinking and intellectual curiosity. This approach can hinder our ability to tap into the full potential of our collective unconscious. While forward-thinking psychotherapy can begin with the present moment, addressing immediate perceptions and worldviews informed by the personal unconscious, true transformation requires delving deeper. As a “doctor of the soul,” I’ve observed that focusing solely on the personal unconscious and cognitive realm often yields only short-term benefits. The transformational model of psychotherapy I advocate for provides a safe space to explore the deep reservoirs and archetypal symbols hidden in the collective unconscious. The gateway to this future is the “here and now,” with therapy offering a conscious pathway to a more promising existence, and fosters insightful cognition to meet life’s unique challenges. While the ultimate goal of therapy is human transformation, it often begins with transition. Not everyone can immediately commit to the continuity required for full transformation. Sometimes, a transitional object is necessary for initiating a paradigm shift. The initial breakthrough, emerging from breakdowns, requires hard work and a strong alignment between psychologist and client. The Jungian approach I favor is forward-looking, focusing on associating into the future rather than solely retreating into the past, as in Freud’s traditional free association model. While free association can reveal hidden or repressed material crucial for understanding psychological difficulties, it often deviates from the main focus of therapy. As a Jungian analyst, I help clients communicate with different parts of themselves, allowing wounded aspects to express their pain and gain deeper understanding. This process fosters wisdom, learning, and a sense of direction for a better future. Once these parts feel seen and heard, it can help these parts release their pain. This leads to healing as unconscious issues are integrated into conscious awareness safely and compassionately.
Overlapping Between BPD and Scamming: A Therapeutic Response
Author: Dr. Mathew Thomas, PhD Recognizing manipulative behaviors that may stem from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be challenging, especially for those unfamiliar with the complex manifestations of this condition. BPD, classified as a personality disorder in the DSM-5, is marked by emotional instability, a deep fear of abandonment, impulsive actions, and difficulties in maintaining stable relationships. When coupled with deceitful or manipulative tendencies, these traits can create interactions that leave others feeling confused, vulnerable, and even exploited. Why Is BPD Difficult to Identify?BPD is notoriously hard to diagnose, even for seasoned clinicians, as individuals often present differently depending on the context. Initially, someone with BPD may seem charming, empathetic, and engaging, masking underlying symptoms. However, as the relationship progresses, emotional volatility, manipulation, and projection may surface. People with BPD often struggle to accept their diagnosis and may react defensively or aggressively when confronted. Their strong sense of victimhood, coupled with a self-righteous stance, can make it difficult for them to see their role in conflicts. This dynamic can be bewildering, especially when dealing with a friend, business associate, or partner who appears reasonable but displays troubling, contradictory behaviors. The Challenge of Navigating BPD Traits in Business or Personal RelationshipsImagine a scenario where you have a business associate who initially seems like an ideal partner—charismatic, articulate, and driven. Over time, you notice erratic behaviors: sudden accusations, disproportionate anger over minor disagreements, or excessive demands for validation. Attempts to address these issues may be met with accusations of mistreatment or betrayal, with the individual refusing to take responsibility for their actions. They might resort to manipulative tactics, such as legal threats or spreading false rumors, to maintain control and keep you engaged. In such cases, the individual may project their insecurities onto you, accusing you of being manipulative. This creates a confusing and emotionally draining dynamic, potentially damaging both personal and professional relationships. Recognizing Symptoms of BPD in Manipulative BehaviorTo navigate interactions with someone exhibiting BPD traits effectively, it’s crucial to understand the core symptoms of the disorder: Fear of AbandonmentAn intense fear of abandonment is a hallmark of BPD. Individuals may use clingy behavior, emotional outbursts, or manipulative tactics to avoid perceived rejection. In business, this may manifest as a refusal to end a partnership, accompanied by threats or deceit to maintain control. Unstable RelationshipsPeople with BPD often experience turbulent relationships, oscillating between idealization and devaluation. In a scam scenario, they may initially charm you, only to turn against you abruptly when things don’t go their way. This abrupt shift can be disorienting, making you more susceptible to manipulation. Impulsive and Risky BehaviorImpulsivity is a key feature of BPD, often seen in financial recklessness, substance abuse, or sudden, destabilizing decisions. Scammers with BPD traits might make irrational demands, threaten legal action without cause, or make hasty business moves that disrupt your plans. Emotional VolatilityExtreme mood swings, ranging from euphoria to intense anger or despair, are common in BPD. This emotional instability can be weaponized, using guilt, fear, or pity to extract financial or emotional concessions. Chronic Feelings of Emptiness and Need for ValidationPersistent emptiness and a constant craving for validation may drive manipulative behaviors aimed at gaining attention, praise, or financial rewards. The individual may adopt a victim role to elicit sympathy, using their emotional turmoil as a tool to draw you in. Manipulation and ProjectionProjection is a common defense mechanism in BPD, where the individual attributes their negative traits or behaviors to someone else. In a business context, they might accuse you of deceit or manipulation, effectively projecting their own actions onto you. This tactic can create confusion and pull you into a manipulative emotional spiral. Personal Experience: A Cautionary TaleI once encountered an individual who initially came across as charismatic and versatile. Despite sensing an ulterior motive early on, I chose to be vulnerable, hoping our combined expertise in mental health and business could be transformative. However, as discussions progressed, their need for control became apparent. When they abruptly exited the project, they demanded financial compensation despite no contractual agreement in place. They escalated the situation by contacting my associates, spreading false narratives, and attempting to coerce me into compliance. At one point, the individual insisted I share my credit card details to activate a social media account. I refused, instead offering a wise digital card, which I promptly blocked afterward. This experience highlighted the complexity of dealing with manipulative behaviors that may stem from BPD or a calculated scamming strategy. Scammers often use gender-related accusations to paint their target as the villain. If their financial schemes fail, they typically move on to the next victim. The Link Between BPD Traits and Scammer BehaviorWhile not all manipulative behavior can be attributed to BPD, there is a notable overlap: Desperation for Control: The fear of abandonment and need for validation in BPD can drive manipulative behaviors aimed at maintaining control, similar to the tactics used by scammers.Victim Mentality: Scammers often adopt a victim role to gain sympathy and deflect blame, mirroring the BPD tendency to externalize responsibility.Charm and Deception: Both scammers and individuals with BPD may initially appear charming and empathetic, only revealing manipulative tendencies as the relationship deepens. Navigating Manipulative Behaviors Establish Clear Boundaries: Set firm boundaries and do not compromise on them.Document Interactions: Keep records of communications, especially if threats or manipulative tactics are used.Avoid Emotional Engagement: Stay factual and neutral in your responses to avoid feeding into the manipulation cycle.Seek Professional Guidance: Consult a therapist or legal advisor for strategies on handling the situation.Focus on Behaviors, Not Diagnosis: Avoid attempting to diagnose the individual; instead, address specific problematic behaviors. Dealing with someone exhibiting BPD traits or scammer behavior can be disorienting and emotionally taxing. Recognizing the patterns, setting firm boundaries, and seeking professional support are key steps in protecting yourself. While compassion is essential, your primary responsibility is to safeguard your own well-being. Remember, you are not responsible for healing the other person—your obligation is to protect yourself. References:
Tranformative Journey
Dr. Mathew Thomas, PhD, Practitioner Psychologist and Accredited Psychotherapist Dear Valued Partners and Colleagues, As we embark on this transformative journey together MENTE-SOIN, I am filled with profound gratitude for your commitment to our shared vision in the vast and vital realm of mental health.Just days ago, I celebrated a significant milestone: 21 years as a global provider of mental health services. Throughout this journey, my passion for this field has never wavered. It has been, to borrow from Dr. M. Scott Peck, a ” road less traveled ” but one that has brought immeasurable fulfillment and purpose to my life. My path has been shaped by extensive education, training, and supervision across two continents, representing a substantial investment in both personal growth and professional development. Navigating the complex international landscape of psychology has been challenging, particularly as someone who left India shortly after high school. Yet, these experiences have enriched my perspective and strengthenedmy resolve to make a difference. In over 20,000 hours of practice, I have had the privilege of witnessing the resilience and courage of hundreds of clients. Each interaction has deepened my understanding of the human psyche and reinforced my commitment to fostering healing and recovery. The challenges faced have only served to enhance my ability to be fully present for those seeking support. Harmonie-Mente represents more than just a venture; a testament to the power of connection and collaboration. I am profoundly grateful for each of you who has joined us at this critical juncture in human history. Your diverse backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives are invaluable assets as we work towards our shared goals. We embrace neurodiversity in all its forms, recognizing the unique strengths and challenges it brings to our work and interactions. While there may be moments when our minds and hearts don’t perfectly align, I believe that by focusing on partnership and collaboration, we can achieve remarkable outcomes.As we prepare for our soft launch of the Mente-Soin website in November 2024, I invite each of you to bring your full selves to this endeavor. Your dedication to this cause is both inspiring and essential to our success. Thank you for choosing to be part of Mente-Soin. Together, we have the opportunity to make a significant impact in the mental health space, celebrating the diversity of human experience and fostering healing for all. Welcome aboard and to the meaningful journey ahead. Warm regards,Dr. Mathew ThomasFounder-CEO Mente-Soin Limited
